So yoga today would have been okay except for the fact that I consumed WAY TOO MUCH sugar, butter and general unhealthiness last night. I am blaming my crappy class on this. Because you know how I was like, “I TOTALLY DID NOT SIT DOWN IN THE STANDING SERIES” yesterday? I think I made up for it today by doing practically nothing but sitting.
FOOD IS THE ONLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION.
Have you guys ever been to Ol’ South Pancake House? It’s in Ft. Worth. And it’s like IHop but BETTER.
I’ve been craving their German pancakes since the second day back to yoga. I couldn’t tell you why. I was hanging out in class on that second day and all of a sudden I felt like this: “I WOULD LOVE TO JUST WALK OUT OF HERE AND EAT A GERMAN PANCAKE.”
I’m sorry, have you never had a German pancake before? Let me describe it to you. You start off with this massive, squishy, eggy-yet-delicious crêpe thing. I mean it is huge. It is hanging off the plate. That is how you know it’s GOOD.
Then you fill it with way too much powdered sugar and butter. When you’ve added enough of said product to induce seven food comas, you then drizzle FRESH LEMON JUICE all over the whole masterpiece. At which point, you then mash all the ingredients together and fold the crêpe on top of it, causing the butter and the sugar and the lemon to MERGE into a delicious nectar of awesome that leaks tantalizingly out the sides.
And when I say “you” I of course mean “the waiter at Ol’ South Pancake House”.
Then you EAT IT.
And by “you” I mean “me”.
I have dragged Green along for this heavenly experience once before, and last night I was like, “Listen, when I get off work, do you want to go to Ol’ South? I’M BUYING.” He said “YES.”
I got off work at 10:30 PM. We got to Ol’ South at 11:25 PM. At which point I ordered the crap out of a German pancake and proceeded to eat the whole thing.
Green said, “The first time you took me here I decided to get a German pancake too, and after about four bites I was good. Then I watched you eat yours and every time I looked at your plate, a little more was missing until the whole thing was gone. I was like, ‘How is she DOING that?’”
That is how sturdy these pancakes are. They strike fear in the hearts of lesser mortals. For this example, the lesser mortal shall be played by Green.
This is all very well and good, except for the fact that I tromped into yoga this morning with the German monstrosity on my stomach and proceeded to attempt to take class. Things the Germans have ruined: A lot of innocent people’s lives, the name Adolf, and my yoga class this morning*.
What was weird about today’s class is that I FELT okay. I was nice and sweaty and thinking to myself, “I’m nice and sweaty! I feel awesome!” And then my arms wouldn’t stay up in Half Moon. I watched them droop down and thought, “What is happening? I’m nice and sweaty and I feel awesome! Get back up there!”
And then Awkward happened, and I didn’t want to do ANYTHING. So I said, “Maybe I’ll just sit on the floor and feel sweaty and awesome.” Which is what I did. And every time I tried to stand back up, despite feeling awesome, I sat back down. Very confusing.
It’s okay, though. There’s always tomorrow. Which is what I WOULD have told myself except that the teacher today was like, “TRY HARDER. YOU’RE NOT GUARANTEED ANOTHER CLASS.” At which point I was like, well crap, how do I reconcile this feeling awesome yet feeling terrible at the same time? Maybe I should try hard- oh, nevermind. There’s always tomorrow. When my stomach will not be a brick of butter and sugar.
*That’s not entirely fair. I actually like the Germans. They make amazing pancakes.