A Chat I Did Not Have With My Friend Carla

me: I should go to bed but instead I am seeing if you’re around to chat

This could be a bad idea

Green already went to bed

If you love me at all you won’t respond while I take my bowl to the kitchen and wait for a response

Sent at 2:05 AM on Thursday

me: It’s at times like this, when I should really turn off the computer and go to bed that I find the Internet is its most vibrant, most full of things to do that are all more exciting than sleep.

It is sad how I am chatting with you even though you are obediently not responding instead of going to bed.

Maybe you will get this in your inbox in the morning and be amused. That would make me happy.

I got a glass of water while in the kitchen so I’m continuing to not chat with you while I finish that off.

It’s delicious.

And watery.

Sent at 2:08 AM on Thursday

me: Now I feel like I’ve poured myself too much water because I feel thoroughly hydrated and also out of things to say, yet there’s still water left in the glass, mocking me.

I can’t NOT finish it.

Do you ever notice how sometimes it seems like you only have one sip of liquid left, so you go to take that one last sip but it turns out that actually, it was more like two or even three sips and you’re trying to cram way too much liquid in your mouth and this can only end in tears?

Okay, now all the water is gone and you are clearly either a) avoiding me like a good friend or b) away from the computer.

Either way, I’m going to bed for realsies.

GOOD NIGHT!!!

Sent at 2:10 AM on Thursday